Catheters may sound like a party, but are pretty miserable.
Laying in bed for 3 days seems like it would be heaven, but Magnesium Sulfate beats down heaven and owns it, turning heaven into a whiny girly man.
Pumping 8 times a day takes some serious schedule balance.
But once the milk starts coming in, feels like the only thing we can do to truly help our son and is the epicenter of our days (after visiting him).
My son is the most handsome, adorable baby ever. I never believed that moms could really think their wrinkly babies were beautiful, but it is clearly hardwired into our systems. His suckling movements with his tongue kills me. His perfect toes arouse wonder. I could stare at him for hours.
The world stopped when Atticus opened his eyes for the first time.
I’m the most average new parent, completely in love with her new baby. It feels so amazing!!
It is just the beginning and my partnership with Jared just has gotten stronger. His presence through my hospital stay was my anchor and made my job easier. He says that that was his job, which I understand, but also appreciate that not all people could serve that role so well. To laugh together and have open frank tears together throughout this last week has made me resolute that he is the best man I have ever met. Cutest son, greatest man. Boom. I win.
The best advice I have received has been to not do internet research on this situation. Every micro-preemie is different. Even two 24 weekers present totally differently. How to deal with a 24 weeker versus a 28 weeker is completely different. We’re just going to listen to our doctors until it seems like we should do otherwise.
Second best advice came from Jared when I asked if we should find out what chance the doctors think Atticus has. He responded that percentages are about the whole population and that we only care about our son, not our son against the whole population. We’re worried enough about him.
I’ve learned that I have put in enough quality time building relationships with the people around me, that when the shizz gets crunk, people will come out of the woodwork to offer support. We got lamas in LA, Catholics/Lutherans in MN and IA, and spiritualists in NY with Atticus on the brain. We’ve been told that he is on church prayerlists. Even a few atheists have told us that they are willing to pray for our son. It all counts and it is all important. It is so humbling to see a network of helpful hands electrify.
Back to sleep. Much love to you all…